Phone Bill Philosopher Pillows

The AdRams Family no.27 - Big phone bill for the internet

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Woman on the phone.

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

"I charge by the grain."

Gawk

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute - Calls will be answered in random order.'

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

'I heard it was because of a broken charger.'

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

Reception - "Do you want to continue to 'hold' or do you want to call back later and 'hold'?"

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

"Sure, he's ascended to a god-like state. But from what I hear, he's still on his family's cell phone plan."

'I can't believe I phoned my ex at 4 in the morning and go the wrong number. Still, if I look on the upside...it's lucky I didn't get the right number.'

Legends of Hold Music

"You're addicted to your phone and I think you need help."

'Hmmmmm. I wonder if there were any roaming charges to call the moon.'

"We can now tell the rest of the mice that after testing on lab humans, phones can be an addictive time waster."

Mavis didn't realise she was still on hold. . . !

Man not charged enough for first opinion.

"Instead of chanting 'Aum' can I keep texting 'Good Morning?'"

From "The Letters Of Jeffrey Flanders and Tip-Top Utility"

Pandora's Fax.

"Skip parts A through H and fill out the I, O and U ones!"

'OK, I'll admit I have no people if you'll admit you have no people.'

'This call may be ignored for sanity assurance.'

The Sequels

Gloria just called me an animal. Are you going to take that kind of an insult? ?