Phobia Investigator Pillows

Dead Funny

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"Pencil eraser."

"Mr. Carley, would you like to begin today’s session?" "Claustrophobic's therapy session today at 2:00"

What's Their Secret?

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

"No, not us. Do something every day that scares you."

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

Death By Mattress

"I wish I had known you have arachnophobia before I paid."

"No, I'm scarier."

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

Rainy day despondency phobia: 'Poor George can't stand the pitter-patter of rain on his shell.'

'Tell me again why we are afraid of chairs.'

"Our surveillance indicates that Earthlings have a fear of right-angled triangles."

'For claustrophobia. Take two tablets right before hiding under the bed.'

'Do you still think my fear of Scottish clowns is irrational?'

Bridegroom jumps in the hands of his bride after seeing a mouse

"They've always scared the hell out of me."

Dr Rimbone suffered terribly from 'Dentist's Block'.

'What it like being able to jump so high?'

'Come back lads, it's 'armless.'

'Another nightmare, Billy? What genre - horror or thriller?'

'Boy I freak out when slimy things touch my feet...'

"Don't be afraid if you see a Martian. There's no such thing."