Phobia Club Members Gifts

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Dog Nightmares

"Pencil eraser."

What's Their Secret?

"Mr. Carley, would you like to begin today’s session?" "Claustrophobic's therapy session today at 2:00"

I just can't understand Ho9w anyone could be afraid of clowns.

I'm afraid of Chia Pets, doctor. Actually, Al, so am I. Either you're getting well, or I'm going nuts.

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"No, not us. Do something every day that scares you."

"No, I'm scarier."

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

"I wish I had known you have arachnophobia before I paid."

Death By Mattress

"Our surveillance indicates that Earthlings have a fear of right-angled triangles."

'For claustrophobia. Take two tablets right before hiding under the bed.'

Psychiatrist. Claustrophobic, eh? The doctor is pretty busy today, but maybe I can squeeze you in.

Bridegroom jumps in the hands of his bride after seeing a mouse

Psychiatry. It's funny. You're a germaphobe and the last patient on that couch has a phobia about soap!

"Don't be afraid if you see a Martian. There's no such thing."

'I've got it in pill form, but for really fast relief from panic attacks...'

'And why do you think you developed this overwhelming fear of couches?'

'I wish you had come in to see me sooner, before your phobia had started running wild.'

Customer: 'I'm looking for books to help me overcome my fear of mice and snakes.' Clerk: 'Oh. Eeeee-Books?'

"I swear! As soon as she saw me, she jumped onto a chair and started screaming! It was hilarious..."

'Gervaisaphobia': The feeling that Ricky Gervais is everywhere.

"There was a bee."

'You didn't have to be so realistic about your fear of the unknown!'

The coward's way out.

Sunday morning greeters, the #1 cause for social anxiety in the church.

'Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite.'

Lady reads book about beating phobias.

'Look, I don't expect you to understand this, but the thing is, I'm deathly afraid of water. . . always have been.'

Woman scared of bug

'How long have you had this extreme fear of lifts?'