Phishing Awareness Gifts

I'd rather be phishing.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

Movember

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

More Unequal Than Others

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"You never call, and the federal government will back me up on that."

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"The only thing that stops a bad shark is a good shark."

Don't use your dog's name as a password

Peep-A-Boo Spyware: 'Your Privacy is Our Eminent Domain!'

Privacy Conference Security

"Here's the problem -- your fourth wall is broken. That's why you keep seeing all those people out there."

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

'Stop kicking the back of my chair!'

"I warned him being online was dangerous."

"Would you believe it, that pensions liberation plan was just an on-line scam..."

'When did these start coming with privacy protection?'

Results of a Smoking Survey - 'They weren't very passive about smoking'

I'm not getting a criminal background check to be a substitute teacher. Sorry, principal. Aren't you setting a bad example, nana? Yeah. How else can our kids prepare for lives of continual surveillance and invasion of their privacy? Take an airline flight! Or sign on to Facebook.

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."

Hacker's Club: Gone Phishin'

'Most businesses point their CCTV cameras at property they want to protect. . . not at what they want to watch on the webcam...'

"Due to budget cuts we had to combine our athletic fields."

'Number Eleven are shagging again, let's go and watch the live feed from the control room.'

I think I'm being cyber stalked.

'It's your wife on camera 3 again!'

They're security cameras. I got them because I'm my own worst enemy.

Spray Can of Violence

"To ensure a free and transparent workplace I wear an active body camera while monitoring everyone's email."

"I won a million dollars in an online lottery, and as I was tranferring the money to my bank account, the computer froze."

Pull yourself together, get over it and move on.

Alcohol, Violence and Crime

'You told someone I was away from my desk. That's way too much information.'