Philosophical Farmer T-Shirts

"I bray, therefore I am."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

Agricultural Psychology

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Vaccinating Scarecrow

It MUST be Valentines Day!

The Farmer Sutra.

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

'Nobody move. I just dropped a contact lens.'

Dept. de Philosophie

"I've never trusted cows."

"Sometimes, son, the guilt inside builds up so much you have to vent the shame silo."

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

'This computerized herd management is getting out of control.'

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets.

Learning.

I lactate, therefore I am.

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

'The effects of winter weather on the lambing season has disastrous side effects.'

'The working conditions here are good but their retirement plan needs some improvement.'

I see Jerry's had a heart attack!

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

"Storm’s comin’, Clara. Better get my absentee ballot in."

Where steel wool comes from.

Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-yi-ee-yi-oh, and on that farm he had a mirror...

It's not enough just to 'milk me'...what's my motivation? Do I want to be milked?

Thinker ponders milking stool.

'Sure, I'm rich because I lay Golden-Eggs, but the downside is that I will never have children...'