Philosopher Of Temptation Gifts

Priest tries to decide between $3 angelfood cake and $1.50 devil's food cake.

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

A pivotal scene from 'Faust: The Road Movie.'

Why the sudden interest in Autumn?

"Sometimes it's good to just pause and reflect on how obscenely rich we are."

An doomsayer stands at a waterfalls' edge.

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

"So using all those brown coffee filters literally bought me nothing?"

'I believe in kizmet and it is our destiny to be friends for life.'

Some other sins you may enjoy.

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

"I'll have a pastrami on rye!"

'The End is Near'

Feel good loser. NON WINNER

"I'm not a fallen angel, precisely, but I have had a few stumbles."

Well, you know what they say? Aspire to inspire before you expire.

'You know how we drink to forget? Well, Arnold over there is our polar opposite.'

Yeah, I'm having a lowest plane of consciousness kind of day. Chips.

At Heaven's Gate St. Peter flips a coin.

'Think of her as an illusion.'

'We're pleased to announce we've taken a controlling interest in your personality.'

'Really? I see the bucket as half-empty.'

'He's conscientious about most of his religious duties, but he's slow to fast.'

"I'm giving up my diet for Lent."

'He's convinced history will justify his leadership.'

"The end is near." "The end is far."

"Fraud or redistribution!"

The last wish

Brain Terrorist

Everything's going to be alright

Surveillance cameras. One belonging to the police, the other belonging to the thought police (and looking at the man's thought balloon).

Truth and beauty? Or money

I was on a roll and then the backspin kicked in.

"Think of how ashamed they'd be if they knew their Father hogged the restroom key."