Philosopher Of Moments Gifts

Time: 'Uff my time!'

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

"Call me?"

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Kirsten Johnson

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"Can that be right?"

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

"Death coach..."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'I thought time was supposed to be money!'

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

"I took the road less travelled just to avoid the potholes."

"I once experienced childlike wonder. . . but it was just my anti-depressants kicking in."

The Meaning of Life

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

"Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock."

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

'Isn't it about time to turn over a new leaf...?'

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

"You know, Mother, they say dead is the new 80."

'I'm trying to become enlightened, but my stomach keeps growling and interrupting me!'

'Our news documentary, 'More depressing government shenanigans,' is sponsored by prozac.'

"I'm at the age where work is a lot less fun, and fun is a lot more work."

"Be patient! Weather and homeland are not chosen."