Philosopher Of Human Behavior Gifts

"That's interesting. My parents did spank."

"Why do they do that?"

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

The Map of the Human Heart

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

Always a popular motive: Hunter and Prey.

"I see a psychiatrist holding a Rorschach test."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"This isn't a bad time to be out of touch with reality."

"I knew you'd understand."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"Our best strategy may be to destigmatize embezzlement."

Torture in Progress, Help Wanted

'I like to use the Law as a jumping off point.'

Harrison Ford, no question. Tom Selleck. Without a doubt. I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." Ford was ok, but his character was less that manly. What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness! You're telling me the "definition of eighties manliness" could run around the world for weeks and

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

"Republican striptease"

Psychological Testing Center.

'Miss Jones, bring me my scruples.'

'Why should I feel bad? We're part of natures original recycling program!'

Codependipity.

Specialising in Multiple Personality Disorder

"It's little Pharma. Want some baby aspirin?"

Vegetarian Professor

"Tighten our belts? Why can't you sell your soul to some nasty American corporation?"

"Freud said love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness, but human mess is equally true."

The Prisoner's Dilemma

"I know the rules on cloning, but it's easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission."