Philosopher Of Human Behavior Gifts

"That's interesting. My parents did spank."

"Why do they do that?"

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

The Map of the Human Heart

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

"I see a psychiatrist holding a Rorschach test."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"This isn't a bad time to be out of touch with reality."

"I knew you'd understand."

Always a popular motive: Hunter and Prey.

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"Our best strategy may be to destigmatize embezzlement."

"Republican striptease"

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

'I like to use the Law as a jumping off point.'

Psychological Testing Center.

'Miss Jones, bring me my scruples.'

'Why should I feel bad? We're part of natures original recycling program!'

Codependipity.

"It's little Pharma. Want some baby aspirin?"

Specialising in Multiple Personality Disorder

"Try staying in the same dimension as everyone else."

“What we have here is an old moral compass. How did it come into your possession?”

Vegetarian Professor

The institute.

"Freud said love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness, but human mess is equally true."