Philosopher Of Feelings Gifts

Perverse mind and heart

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

Free speech isn't cheap!

"Nihilistic customer service"

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Et in Arcadia Ego

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"Don't believe in labels."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Think of it as one less thing to worry about."

Thought bubble mirrors the cloud in the sky.

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

"If you could time-travel back to any period in history, would your love for me keep you from going?"

'All I know is that when life hands you a lemon, you're supposed to make lemonade...is there such a thing as curveballade?'

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

'It was my unfair dismissal claim cap.'