Philosopher In A Pub Pillows

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

'I had everything going for me, but I could never find the right person to inspire me.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Men gossiping

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

ONE HORSE TOWN

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

Brickie's Mate

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Body by Jake

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."