Bar Room Philosopher Pillows

"I'll get that. First go get me a glass of warm water."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

Men gossiping

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

ONE HORSE TOWN

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

Brickie's Mate

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

"So that's where you were last night."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'