Waiting Room Philosopher Pillows

'I've had to book my appointment two weeks in advance, so we'll both sit here until I feel unwell.'

"I've been waiting here so long I think I'm cured."

Sitting Room, Standing Room Only.

Please take a number if it will make you feel any better.

A long wait

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

'Is this magazine really two years old, or have I just been waiting here that long?'

'Wake up, Mr. Granger, you can see the doctor about your insomnia now.'

'Age please sir?' - 'You mean now, or when I first got here?'

'Mr. Simpson went home hours ago. He got over whatever was ailing him.'

'Dr. Bone's first opening for a new patient is 2 months from now. Will that work for you?'

'I see Dr. Riley finally came up with something to help repay his student loans.'

"Wake up, RIP. The doctor will see you now."

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"So that's where you were last night."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

Medical Center.

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

"The doctor says Tia Carmen is resting now...he's encouraging all family visitors to go home. We'll see you back here tomorrow."

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

'I'll take #1.'

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

"Sorry for the wait - I hope it wasn't too long."

TSA Lines