Bar Philosophizer Pillows

"Of course I had a good day."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Men gossiping

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

ONE HORSE TOWN

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

Brickie's Mate

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...