Philanthropy Buff Pillows

Charity collecter says to smug man: 'Yes, it is good to give a little something back. Can I have my pen, please?'

'Please give so we can find a cure for ALPOERQUINTERXY.'

'I am so far out of touch with the needy that I don't even know where to find them.'

'No, we're owned by a non profit poundation.'

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."

"This is a stick-up. Please give generously."

Please Contribute To Katrina Relief

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Yes, one is a dog."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

Paul Ree

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'