Pheromone Philosopher Pillows

Pheromones.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Dogs are men."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

'Instead of throwing sticks, why don't we sit down and tackle some sudoku?'

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Birthdays are like life...the more you have, the more illuminated you become.'

The Inner Dog.

'He has some unresolved issues.'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"You need a hobby."

The question is, where does want to go for a walk end and need to go for a walk begin? Existentialist dogs.

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

"These dizzy spells, I have a theory."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

30th Birthday - Doctors aren't like policemen.. they don't grow younger, they just age faster.

Xmas Labour Shortage

The dark side of the moon

"Why so sad, Pal?"