Pheromone Expert Pillows

"I believe we've met these folk before boy..."

Disease Management

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

Dog phrenology

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

"Will you call me?"

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

World Health Organization

"Dumb it up."

The trouble was she never knew where to draw the line

Tonight's Debate. Nature versus Nurture. You believe in heredity over environment? Yep --- I was just born that way.

"What qualifies you to be a ballistics expert?"

Swine Flu danger as a pandemic

'Hey doctor, how come I'm totally alone in this section?'

Vis10n Impaired

"Actually I feel great but I read on the coronavirus blog that that might just be a symptom."

"Oops."

"You must be the new barmaid."

The doctor says I have man flu. - 'Did he give you any medicine?' - 'No. He said I should 'make the most of it'' - 'Eh?' - 'I feel soooo ill. Can you get me a sandwich?' - 'Gah!! Men are ridiculous' -

Anti Virus

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

"Have you seen my onesie?"

"I pledge allegiance to the flag...oh sorry, to honour and obey...on no that's not it..I name this ship.."

'George...George! Have you seen the fly-spray anywhere?'

'Sarah, meet my carpool - mouth wash, hair spray and after shave.'

Spot Check

President Trump Takes Advice From Public Health Expert

"Any side effects from the HRT?" "WHAT?"

"As a forensic psychologist, it's my opinion that the defendant is not a risk to the public. Any more passive-aggressive questions?"

Fortunately there are so many experts!!

Hyacinthe Vincent

"There - now we're safe and prosperous."

'It must be the burglars, Manfred, you know how they frighten him!'