Petting Aficionado Gifts

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"Pick me!"

Welcome to the Team

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Canine Companion

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Love Conquers All

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"This is Blackjack, come in Yahtzee."

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"He's already getting attached to you."

"He was a sea rescue."

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Author's Bio-diversity.

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"She's a miniature."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"