Pet Therapy Pillows

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"A little help, please."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

Agility God

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"Don't even think about it."

"Have you tried biting him?"

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

Pet Entertainers

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

"That's awesome that you taught him to heel, but I just want him to walk normally."

'I'll bet you taught him that!'