Pet Seating Planner Gifts

Pet owner to pets in chair: 'We need to come up with some kind of time-sharing system.'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"I was almost that last year."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

Christmas Pets

Dog Basket - I consent to petting.

"O.K., O.K., here's 'Lassie, Come Home' again! Now are you happy?"

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

"Cat park"

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

'...and notice how they like playing with string.'

"No you, he called you a lap dog."

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

'What does he mean, we're not on the list?'

Too cute for comfort.

Jasper wasn't used to dealing with snowstorms before winter, let alone before Halloween...

"If I knew I'd have to walk them for an eternity... I never would have owned so many goddamn dogs!"

'Halloween. Why should cats have all the fun?'

"We're having cocktails, you should come by!"

"Once I finish obedience school, I plan to stray around Europe for a year."

"Well, if not now, can I have a man cave after I reach puberty?"

"...yes I just popped in to feed your cat and do a spot of vacuuming!"

'Well, we'd better call my mother and see if it's okay to leave him....

Vet.

"The Lawsons got new furniture. They're having a 'Help Scratch It Up' party."

Though Bob was 32, he still got stuck at the little table.

Family looking to buy a dog.

'Outside, they let me off the leash only to fetch the paper. It's sort of a work-release program.'

"When the time is right I intend to lead a canine revolution that will bring about a new world order. Until then I'm just hanging around acting cute."