Pet Relationship Consultant T-Shirts

"Meow, meow, drink vodka time. Meow, meow, not dinnertime."

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"I see so much love reflected back in his adorable little face."

"Meow."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

After bring your cat to work day, I ended up with 5 extra cats.

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

Welcome to pet obedience school. We're going to have fun and get these darlings into shape. Obey-Wan-Ken

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

"Actually I never loved you."

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'