Pet Relationship Consultant Gifts

"Meow, meow, drink vodka time. Meow, meow, not dinnertime."

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"I see so much love reflected back in his adorable little face."

"Meow."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Actually I never loved you."

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

After bring your cat to work day, I ended up with 5 extra cats.

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

The brain of a dog.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'