Pet Punk Gifts

'I wanna buy a muzzle.'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

'To woof or not to woof...'

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

'That was nice of them to order us a new scratching post!'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

Joey tries to teach his pet rock how to swim.

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

The Rolling Bones

'After we had him declawed he started taking on a tougher persona to compensate.'

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

Jerry had a difficult time coming up with cartoon ideas over the noise his dogs made. '...so then the cat says, 'No, thanks. I'll clean it myself.' 'Ha,ha! Yeah, that's a good one,Phil!'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

Dogs Home: Beware of the Human

'Sure, we could fetch things for them, but why raise their expectations.'

"Mr. Jingles thinks they sell it on eBay."

Holier Than Thou

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

Pet Cemetery.

Gavin sends his Pet Rock to a rock concert.

"Too goth?"

'They're for a friend.'

'Bill's not a real nurturing guy. Last week his pet rock died of neglect.'

'If provoked - his remarks can be scathing.'

'Not all my kids went to the dogs...some of them went to the cats.'

'It would never work, Shep - I'm housebroken, you're not.'

Looking for a cool cat.

A dog sits at her typwriter

'He kept saying that, 'my bark was worse than my bite', so I bit him!'

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

BOWZ, poetry reading...'Neither good doggie, nor bad dog be...'

'Trouble is he's not a dalmatian.'

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"