Pet Prose Gifts

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Cat Reunion

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Dogs are men."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"Does someone want to go on a space walk? Who wants to go on a space walk....?"

The Inner Dog.

Literate Dogs.

'The butler did it.'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

'Good book?'

"You need a hobby."

"I know I agreed to hold a funeral for Wendy's goldfish...but did she have to ask Reverend Clark to officiate?"

Fish Food

K9 Litterati.

"What the? ... Where’d the? ... How’d ya? ... Get down here!"

With the help of his trusty guide, Mr. Fluffbo becomes the first cat to scale Mt. Everest.

"These dizzy spells, I have a theory."

'Oh, that is so simplistic. Why must you always see the world in black and white?'