Poetic Pet Gifts

BOWZ, poetry reading...'Neither good doggie, nor bad dog be...'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Biofelineism

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"Dogs are men."

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

The Inner Dog.

'To woof or not to woof...'

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

Literate Dogs.

'Good book?'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

K9 Litterati.

"You need a hobby."

When Pugs dream.

"These dizzy spells, I have a theory."

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

"Laura! Laura! Wake up — I just had the worst nightmare!"

'Oh, that is so simplistic. Why must you always see the world in black and white?'

Self-walking dog

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

'Sure, I can talk, but I still feel culturally illiterate.'