Poetic Pet Pillows

BOWZ, poetry reading...'Neither good doggie, nor bad dog be...'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Biofelineism

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Dogs are men."

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

The Inner Dog.

'To woof or not to woof...'

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

Literate Dogs.

I know they told me not to bark

'Good book?'

"My Instagram feed is basically people, dog food and tennis balls."

When Pugs dream.

"You need a hobby."

K9 Litterati.

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

"These dizzy spells, I have a theory."

Pet Cemetery.

'Oh, that is so simplistic. Why must you always see the world in black and white?'

Self-walking dog

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."