Pet Pharmacologist Pillows

'...and here is our new canine diuretic...'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Licensed Therapist

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Dog Walking Services

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Protoplasm

"Meow."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

Taking goldfish for a walk.

"Actually I never loved you."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

The brain of a dog.

"He's sending an instant message."

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"