Pet Medicator Pillows

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Dog Walking Services

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

"Have you tried biting him?"

Cat Scan

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

But it's the other leg that hurts.

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Taking goldfish for a walk.

So You Finally Caught Your Tail

"He never sniffs my butt anymore."

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"Have you got one that's a bit more pessimistic?"

An inbred poodle.

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

'Most dogs chase cars, Sally but mine is into them!'

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."