Pet Parent Fun Gifts

'The £1000 fine is coming out of his dog food allowance.'

Online Dog Dating

'Rubber pork chops. Excellent choice, Sir. With or without squeakers?'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Playing Fetch.

Polly txt speak

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Why do they do that?"

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Quick, start the car!"

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Cat Nip.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"