Pet Pampering Advocates T-Shirts

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

I guess she had other plans for you.

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Why Poodles Become Killers

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Dogs can dream too.

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Dog Looks Alarmed At The Vets.

Woman Curls Her Dog.

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you're going to have to move out - Prissy's allergy to your dandruff is getting worse.'

"Oh, stop whining. We ALL need a haircut."

My Bowl Is Empty.

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

The Clipping

'Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, what's that YOU'RE eating?!'

'We spoil that dog.'

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'You can't imagine how happy we are to find a vet who makes house calls!'

"Hey, don't complain. They declawed me!"

Dog Jogger

'My personal trainer, massage therapists, hair stylist and chef.'

"You knew I was a clean breed when you got me."

'You say he's been shaking his head?'

'I just love what you've done with the kitty litter box.'