Pet-owning Partner Gifts

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Pick me!"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"Foster failure"

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'I really don't think mouth-to-mouth wroks on fish, Ben.'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"Man's best friends."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'He does lack social skills.'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Here's one: 'Youth Frisbee Camp', from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Tuesdays." "Naw... Go back to that first one, for 'early chewers', wasn't that one a sleep-over camp?"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.