Pet Owner With Mixed Feelings Pillows

One part of me loves cats. Another part, not so much.

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

Cat in Tree.

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

'No, that isn't my slippers either! Try again.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

"He was a sea rescue."

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

"It isn't quite how I pictured it, either."

101 uses of a dead cat: chariot wheels.

Timmys Pet Ostrich

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'

'That's the worst case of fleas I've ever seen...!'

Do not allow your owner to foul the footpath.

If you want full cover for your cat I suggest you take out the nine lives policy.

"He won't wait for me to open the can."

The Curse of the Werewolf

"You're right, you DO smell like a wiener!"

An advantage of robotic pets.