Pet Owner With Attitude Pillows

Cat and Master Sticking out Tongues At Each Other.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Super Dog'

Dog Dressed to Eat

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

Pet Pony

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

K9 Literati.

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"It's just until he gets over his laryngitis."

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

'Good book?'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Bad dog!"

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"