Pet Owner Who Loves To Laugh Pillows

"Football is one long game of fetch."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

Dog Dressed to Eat

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'Ben has a new fishing technique - he calls it 'Fish Hawk'.'

To them it's just a Prada handbag

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

Doggy conductor

Cat at Surprise Party.

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

Two cats are high off catnip.

"Anatomy of a cat"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

"Here he comes! Don't move."

Parrot annoying dog.

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'Yes, having a powerful sense of smell is good, but I do wish Master would change his socks more often...'

When Pugs dream.