Pet Owner Parties Gifts

'Let's go before everyone starts telling their stupid owner stories.'

"Bad dog."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"I was almost that last year."

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"Don't even think about it."

Christmas Pets

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

It is said over the years dogs and dog owners start looking alike

"The club scene is really changing."

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

"Poop outside and he saves it in a bag. Crap on the carpet and he loses his mind."

Man walking a dog is passed by a runner carrying a baby on her hip.

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

"I'm no expert but I think global worming would be a good thing."

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

"Now how did she know?"

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

I can't afford to pay for Fluffy's spay...

'He took a fetching class.'

"Mittens, this is what John Muir would call 'a charming little poem of wilderness.'"

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

French Animal Noises.

A Provocative image from ancient Egypt which suggests not only that dogs exist, but also that they are graciously willing to accept out primitive Earth foods.

'Relax, he is just playing fetch the stick with the kids.'