Pet Obedience Instructor Gifts

"I understand everything he says, but I've found that maintaining a blank expression results in less work."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

Zombie pet tricks.

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

"Text!"

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Not until you fetch the other one."

'Out of the blue, my Master is now obsessed with having me sit, shake hands and rollover...'

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

'Eat boy, eat!... I taught him that one myself.'