Pet-less Life Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I told you we weren't pet people.'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Pet Cemetery.

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"I see a couch."

Life is simpler in the sticks.

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

Go Veggie...

'His Dad was a couch potato.'

"My new boyfriend is free range!"

'I just find it interesting. You remember everything except where your dirty clothes go.'

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

"Ey up, guys! Here comes the slaughter mower - everyone Duck!"

'And this is our open-to-anything-plan office.'

"It's actually a nice change. Before Eddie's business failed we were living in a gilded cage."

Real estate: 'Sure, it's a long commute, but the price is right!'

Birthday Suit Alterations

Man has a can of tuna in his fishbowl.

'I just feel so guilty if they don't get off the leash at least once a week.'

'You mean a vegan isn't the same thing as a witch?'

"I'm all for the quiet life but she keeps rattling on all day long."

"I like a little insurance that he won't take breaks during his run. I'll give him a few seconds before I release the dogs."

'Can we talk, Lola?'

"I thought we agreed on Meatless Mondays."

'The next time I get involved it's going to be with a meat and potatoes kind of guy.'

2010 festival guide - get stoned, come home.

"I warned him not to go vegan."

I've Always Envied Cats

'Anything else you'd like to talk about, but can't - besides the vow of silence?'