Pet Investor Gifts

'But he doesn't want to chase sticks - He likes to follow the stock market!'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"