Pet Humor Buff Pillows

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Dogs life

Cats at private view

'Out, damned Spot.'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

The First Cone of Shame.

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

No, I don

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee