Pet Games Pillows

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

"This time, by god, he's going to hang on to the damn stick."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

'Click it or ticket.'

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"Now this is a dog park!"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Dog Love.

Doggy-3D

First there were virtual-pets. Now there are virtual owners and ranchers.

Dog fetches dice

"No squirrel, but I found Jimmy Hoffa."

'I find the ultrasonic whistle musically limiting, so I've invented an ultrasonic flute...'

Child plays football with his dog,football eventually squashes his dog

"I love to watch cat videos on the internet!"

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

'Good boy. That's better than the others, but still too long. For playing fetch, I prefer a shorter stick, shaped like that, without bark or moss, and not quite as heavy.'

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

"You just blinked — I saw you blink first. OK, again. Ready? Go!"

"See. I told you they have Roomba Rodeos when we're gone."

'If we build it, they will come.'

Online Dog Dating

BONK!, 'He's not the brightest cat I've ever seen.'

Cats and boxes...BOXES!

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

'Doing tricks is a slippery slope.'

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

'Play dead.'

"Oh, ignore that. Penny likes to play with laser pointers."

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

"I bark and bark non-stop, and then they come home. It works everytime."

"Does the fool not realise who I am...?? I am GORDO - Destroyer of Worlds and I shall rip his soul apart...Hmmm...actually, that ball of wool looks like it needs punishing..."