Pet Estate Planner Gifts

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

"I was almost that last year."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

Graph Your Relatives!

Christmas Pets

'This is way better than a litter box.'

'Well, back to the old drawing board.'

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"Cat park"

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

Contest of wills.

"Apparently the will was typed up wrong and UCLA got all your husband's money...and you get his brain!"

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"Just so you know, I'm taking all this with me into the afterlife."

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

'What does he mean, we're not on the list?'

'He must not have been an easy man to care for. He always had an iron will. Which brings us to what he left you.'

I'm building a new house here. To my owner over there it's a "pet project." Of course to me, it's just "a project."

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

'One day, after they unfreeze my DNA, this will all be mine again.'

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

'For those with particularly ungrateful children,the inheritance tax can be a comfort.'

God changes His will.

"I stopped believing in free will when I had my lawyer write mine."

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."