Pet Compromise Genius Pillows

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Have you tried biting him?"

"He's my school project for science class."

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

"I wonder what he dreams about...Squirrels I bet."

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'Give you liberty or give you death? That's easy for you to say. You have nine lives.'

"No more nuts and bolts for you!"

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

Cat reading Rommel biography.

"Tonight... Hemingway."

'I find the ultrasonic whistle musically limiting, so I've invented an ultrasonic flute...'

'A sea view would be nice-Black Sea for him,Red Sea for me!'

Micro-chipped cat talks in binary.

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

"Sit!"

"I don’t want to ‘fetch’ – I want to practice entertainment law."

'If you let me read the SPORTS section, I just may consider moving.'

"You call it training, I call it an apprenticeship. Now pay up."

Cat builds a castle in it's litter tray.

'You're in luck. The dog ate my sermon.'

"Have you ever wondered what would happen if a giant hair ball were to slam into the earth?"

'I'd like to get a new cat but I have a husband.'

'. . . And how long have you been a nervous little dog?'

His cheapest artist's model.

"What should we do today?"

"Why can't you just fetch and beg like a normal dog?"

Cat scratches arcmchair but sees that other cat has done sophisticated graffiti.

A man and his dog

'I don't need to keep him on a lead any more - he's electronically tagged.'

"If I take you to the park, will you tell me where you buried my 9-iron?"

"If we are going to co-habit, then this is a list of my demands."

"I said no. Hamsters are a gateway pet."