Pet Care Aficionado Pillows

The Great Invisible Fence of China

'No, putting more litter in the box does not mean you'll have to clean it less.'

Dog Show

"9 out of 10 dogs prefer it. You must be the 10th."

"I'm Mary, and this is my lamb. As you can see, him being little is historically incorrect."

"Do you take him for a walk every day?" "Yes"

Anatomy Of A Dog's Brain

'I've thought up a new toxoplasmosis test...'

'It will cost $1000 to spay your dog, Ma'am, but call me again tomorrow at my office....

'I see... You're unemployed but you can still afford a dog...'

'Will you get your eyes tested, you've put the hamster in the fish tank!'

Muzzles.

'What's happened? Why are you giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?'

Consider a Pet...someone with a bigger beak than me!

Bird Bath.

'What do you mean, 'What happened to her teeth?'Her head is at this end!"

Flea Collar.

"Two or three more times around and you should be free."

"Somehow he managed to get hold of my Rogaine!"

We all have different schedules.

"Fill it up!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"I'm down here, Mona. That's your slipper."

"Theo, conversation is about talking and listening!"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Welcome to the Team

Biofelineism

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Relax, sir. He's a Border Colie - smartest of all breeds!'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"