Pet Behaviorist Humor Pillows

'They get along beautifully. The dog thinks he's a cat, and the cat thinks she's a dog.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Cats at private view

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Dogs life

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'