Pet Banter Appreciators Gifts

"If he's really your best friend, why did he have your tail cut off?"

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

No, I don

Cat and mouse.

"Another slander suit!"

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'Ben has a new fishing technique - he calls it 'Fish Hawk'.'

"Are those my slippers?!"

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

'I hate surprises!'

'There are two men and a dog out there, and the dog is asleep.'

Their flirtation ground to a halt when she heard his dog-talking voice.

"Do you think those sounds they make are some primitive attempt to communicate with each other?"

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

#NoJunk

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."

Dog Jogger

"You remind me of someone."

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

"Man's best friend with benefits"

Goldie playing chess. Check.

"...That old fool thinks I'm a stick."

'Actually, I'm a lap dog.'

"As I near my 9th life, I feel I’m entering a post-curious, pre-fatalist phase of existence."

"Alternative lifestyle."

"I found this under your litter box. Just when were you planning to put this into effect?"

'You can't go outside.'

"I think, therefore I am going to chew her new shoes."

"I'll vote for anyone who isn't a dog."

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"