Pet Adoption Advocate Pillows

"Adopt me."

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

'Okay, just one more. But then I have a rescue I need to get to.'

'Trust me, if you get them as kittens, you learn to love them...'

'Can I keep him? He followed me home.'

"I considered a rescue dog, but decided to take this refugee from Afghanistan."

"Yo, I'm Scrapper the Rapper, shelters are cool, but I'm no fool -- the dream in my head, is to sleep on your bed. Adopt now!"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Foster failure"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Foster failure

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

dog vs UFO...

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

The Golfing Accident

"Be kind"

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.