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'Because I have a thpeech impediment.'

'Well, was the news good today?'

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

The turning point in canine history: "Should we eat him, or should we pay with him?"

"You don't need to water the plants. I saw the cat doing that already."

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

'Hey, do we even need these tunnels? What if we're just doing this to amuse these people?'

Toucan in bird cage.

"Where's the logo?"

Cold Judgmental Stares $1

Dog roses bark at a passing cat.

Valet Parking by Cat

Bird Watchers Club of America.

'I mumbled 'cor triloculare biatriatum,' madam,...

"Fetch boy!"

'At ease.'

"The interview went well, until the CEO question. Apparently, CEO is not the name of a 90s rock group."

'What do you think, Pumpkin?'

"Now those b*****s are getting a little taste of my life!"

Mice playing double bass

"He took up birdwatching during lockdown."

'Dogs are like children - except I like other people's dogs.'

Cat in path of tank.

'My Dad says people who have pets live longer.'

"My bark is worse than my bite, and my bark is a sort of a yap."

'He's not great at playing dead, but his sad look when he's in trouble is a real work of art.'

'...and don't tell me you didn't like it. You purred through the whole thing.'

'Harry, do you remember how dull our lives were before we got the cat?'

Beware of the Overly Friendly Dog.

'I really feel sorry for that guy, spending day after day in that little globe.'

Pets: Three Puppies try to charm man through pet shop window.

Plane Geometry Dog.

'He always seems so damn put put.'

'He's wondering, if you're not going to hang your head out the window...'

"I hope one day to be the kind of friend that would tell you if you had a long stray whisker on your chin."