Pest Predictor Pillows

'Of course I'm worried. I heard that the legs are the first things to go.'

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Mouse living in a wedding cake.

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'That is correct on so many levels Jenkins!'

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'Naughty boy, I see you clawing my curtains.'

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

"I'll be right back."

"This stuff worked pretty well on me."

doom.com

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

'Could we fleas get fleas of our own?'

'Took longer than I thought it would.'

Road Construction.

Pest controller tries to catch old woman who is exacerbating the problem by feeding birds.

'Sorry, but sorting through garbage bins for food is pretty much what the future holds for you...'

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

A Dow Jones Industrial Average Correction Is Near

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on...'

". . . be very quiet. . . I'm gonna catch that varmint."

'Hello? Animal control?'

"We have a termite problem."