Pest Perplexer T-Shirts

"Are you having a problem with moles?"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'I found the termites!'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

Bees v Wasps

I think I know where the noises in your wall are coming from. Pest control.

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

'Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

'Waiter! There's no hair in my soup!'

"It's a very effective scarecrow."

"We have raccoons."

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'

'Check you house for termites, Lady?'

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

The social isolation of the entomologist...

Practical Woodworm...

"Please stop! Let me get the wine first."

". . . be very quiet. . . I'm gonna catch that varmint."

'Just knock over a couple of garbage cans, and bring us whatever you find.'

'This infestation is far more serious than I was anticipating.'

'It has had phenomenal growth and, for those involved, an atmosphere crawling with excitement. Congratulations, Hawkins, for heading our Bed Bug division.'

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

"I think we have carpenter ants."

Ask me about my litter!

"Oh no. Not the niblets."