Pest Perplexer T-Shirts

"Are you having a problem with moles?"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'I found the termites!'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

Bees v Wasps

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

'Waiter! There's no hair in my soup!'

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

"It's a very effective scarecrow."

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'

"We have raccoons."

". . . be very quiet. . . I'm gonna catch that varmint."

The social isolation of the entomologist...

'Check you house for termites, Lady?'

Practical Woodworm...

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

'Just knock over a couple of garbage cans, and bring us whatever you find.'

'It has had phenomenal growth and, for those involved, an atmosphere crawling with excitement. Congratulations, Hawkins, for heading our Bed Bug division.'

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

"I think we have carpenter ants."

"Oh no. Not the niblets."

Ask me about my litter!