Pest Control Paradoxist Gifts

A man sprays a bug in an organic foods shop.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

"Houston, we have a problem."

Man using to much bug spray

Good News about winter

'I found the termites!'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Giant slug attacks a city

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"Yes!" "Excellent!" The Daily Bug City considers pesticides ban

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Gardener with window box and giant slug.

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

“Oi! This is a no fly zone!”

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Ooops. Look at it this way: you won't have to worry about bee mites infesting your colonies now.'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"