Pessimist's Encourager Pillows

"Oh, DO lighten up Roger...!"

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

Tom's last day.

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Everything in your life has gone smoothly. That's a violation of Murphy's law."

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

"Die alone"

'Half-empty, yet I can't complain...'

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

The Dungeon

Gonna Suck

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

'Turned out nice again.'

Y2K Solutions Inc.

Your radio show this week was incredible. Buzz off. Who cares what you think? It was angry, vitriolic, sarcastic, mean-spirited, pessimistic. Do you mean that? You really were listening? I'm not giving a compliment. You're less horrifyingly objectionable than usual.

This will be a banner day for you!

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

'You know, that Lenny is a real 'glass half empty' kind of guy...!'

The end of the world is nigh.

DOOM, 'I do love you, Arnie, but you're such a downer!'

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."